In Portland, Oregon one of Americas most sexually tolerant cities it seems you cant throw a stone without finding a poly relationship
When Franklin Veaux was 10 years old, his elementary school English teacher read his class a story about a princess being wooed by two princes. I thought, princesses live in castles, and castles are big enough for all three of them, so why does she have to choose one? he said.
Throughout his life, Franklin now 50 and living in Portland, Oregon has never chosen one. In fact, hes never had a monogamous relationship in his life, even while he was married for 18 years. Monogamy has never connected with me, its never made sense to me, said Franklin, who took two dates to his high school prom and lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yet it wasnt until the 1990s that he found the language to describe his lifestyle. Until then, he just considered himself open.
Polyamory is the practice of intimate relationships involving more than two people with the consent of everyone involved. In recent years, polyamory is working its way to becoming a household term. Researchers have estimated that 4 to 5% of Americans practice some form of consensual non-monogamy. A 2014 blog post by Psychology Today revealed that 9.8 million people have agreed to allow satellite lovers in their relationships, which includes poly couples, swinging couples and others practicing sexual non-monogamy.
And in Portland home to swingers clubs, the most strip bars per capita, and annual porn festivals it seems you cant throw a stone without finding a poly relationship. Although theres no official data supporting an exact number, various Meetup groups boast a few thousand members each, while other Facebook groups have hundreds.
Portland is an amazing place if youre poly, oh my god, laughed Franklin, who is rarely seen without his bunny ears. (Given to him by a lover, he refers to the ears as sexually transmitted, meaning his other girlfriends now wear them too.) Its actually one of the most poly friendly cities Ive been to, he said, listing Boston, Tampa, San Francisco and Vancouver, British Columbia, as other poly hotspots. As for its social acceptability, Franklin said, a lot of it is just exposure. It was almost impossible before the advent of the internet to find other people that were polyamorous.